“At the turning-point of time,
The Spirit-Light of the World
Entered the stream of Earthly Evolution.
Darkness of Night had held its sway;
Day-radiant Light poured into the souls of men,
Light that gave warmth to simple shepherds’ hearts,
Light that enlightened the wise heads of kings.”

– Rudolf Steiner

Good vs. Evil in the Christian Epic of “Paradise Lost”

the fall

No human being is entirely good or entirely evil. We have within us two opposing impulses: One pushes us towards the nobler, higher ideals of mankind–such as truth, freedom, service, and fraternity–and the other pushes us towards our baser, more animalistic tendencies–the sphere of existence where greed, dishonesty, jealousy, and selfishness abide.

Human beings have the freedom to choose between an infinitely wide range of emotions, thoughts and actions. The sum total of these emotions, thoughts and actions determines whether we are living in virtue or whether we are giving in to our baser instincts. It is an internal battle that everyone faces Every Single Day… from the moment we wake up to the moment we fall asleep, and sometimes our subconscious wages these battles in our dream life, as well.

What lies at stake in this daily battle is not only our personal happiness and wellbeing, but also the happiness and wellbeing of the people that surround us. Ultimately, no man is an island. What we do affects everyone we come in contact with. How to live our life is a personal decision that will shape not only our relationships, but also our reality. Thus, everything that happens to us is a reflection of the choices we’ve made in life, the path we have decided to follow, and the people we have chosen to surround ourselves with… for better or for worse.

The internal battle between noble impulses and baser instincts has been externally represented throughout the ages in Literature. Internal noble impulses are represented externally through heroic deeds; while base, self-serving instincts are represented externally through the conception of the threatening forces of evil.

Take, for example, John Milton’s “Paradise Lost”.

This tale was penned by 17th-century Englishman and poet John Milton. The story has two narrative arcs: one concerning the banishment of Lucifer from heaven, the other concerning the Fall of Man and the expulsion of Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden.

It starts after Lucifer and the other rebel angels have been defeated and banished into Tartarus (Hell). Over the course of the story we learn that the war between the faithful angels and the rebel angels lasted three days.

At the final battle, the Son of God single-handedly defeated the entire legion of angelic rebels. After this victory, God creates the world, which culminates in the fashioning of Adam and Eve after his own image.

Down in Tartarus, Lucifer, who has now become Satan, is livid. He wants to poison Mankind, God’s new and favored creation. However, the other fallen angels want none of it. They were defeated and have had enough war.

Satan, though, will stop at nothing to get revenge. So he organizes his followers, persuades the others to go along with his plan, and then volunteers to cross the abyss (the place between Tartarus and Earth) into the material World, and later into the Garden of Eden.

Satan, the antagonist, is filled with an all-consuming purpose, fueled by the passion of his rage. He has made the decision to stop at nothing until he makes God pay. He also happens to be a spectacular leader and advocate.

First, he uses the facts (as he sees them) to make an argument: God, in his unfairness and pride, banished us from heaven, our rightful home, to then fashion Humankind after his own image, seeking to bestow unto them the power of rulership that he so unfairly took away from us.

Through his passionate powers of persuasion, he rouses his defeated comrades from their stupor and convinces them to rally and fight God once again. But he doesn’t stop at that…

No, Satan takes action. He takes matters into his own hands. He is the one who crosses the abyss, he is the one who tempts Humankind so that they Fall from Grace. In other words, he does his own dirty work.

This part of the narrative ends as the other begins.

Adam and Eve are in the Garden of Eden, happily minding their own business. God sends Archangel Raphael to warn them about the coming of Satan. He tells them how jealousy against the Son of God led Lucifer and his followers into waging war, and how the Son cast them all into hell. He relates that the world was created so Mankind could one day replace the fallen angels in heaven.

After Raphael leaves, Satan takes the form of a serpent (which curiously, in the Esoteric tradition, is the symbol for Wisdom) and tempts Eve by telling her that if she eats from the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, she’ll learn the truth about many things… the truth about the world, and about herself.

Curiosity got the best of her and she took a bite out of the fruit. When Adam learns what Eve did, he chooses to eat the fruit as well because he claims they are bound to one another. If she dies, he must also die.. They are One.

Up in heaven, the Son of God, witnessing these events, then offers to sacrifice himself in the future so that Mankind will be redeemed. God accepts, and sends Archangel Michael to expel Adam and Eve (who deeply regret the decision they made) from the Garden of Eden.

Archangel Michael tells Adam of future events, terrible events, resulting from the choice they made. But he also tells him of the future coming of the Savior of Mankind. So in a somewhat mitigated sadness, Michael escorts them out of paradise.

We can learn many things from this Story.

First, that evil is relentless. Satan fulfilled his goal of expelling Mankind from paradise through the use of his skill, after all.

Second, that the flesh is weak. Adam and Eve were warned of the upcoming peril, but still they failed the test.

Third, that there’s always hope.

We will always be surrounded by people who tempt us into acting in a way we feel to be untrue to ourselves. There will always be temptation within ourselves, too. The solution to this is not to retreat from the world. It is better to face these problems with integrity and act in accordance to our own values than to seek to build a bubble of false and isolated contentment around us. Doing the right thing is never easy, least of all in this age… but it is worth it.

However, it is unwise to underestimate the challenges of life, no matter how righteous or strong we think ourselves to be. If we happen to win a personal battle, it would be unwise to think we’re invincible in the face of future temptation. The opposite also happens to be true. If we fail to act according to our values in a certain situation, it doesn’t mean we’re going to perpetually fail for the rest of our life.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Regret is useful insofar as we can learn from our mistakes, and it becomes an unnecessary burden beyond that, a burden we must let go. Adam and Eve moved on. They sorely regretted their decision, but they buckled up their pants (so to speak) and got to work on Earth.

No matter how bad a mistake we make, there is always hope for a better future. This is the underlying message of the great Christian epic that is PARADISE LOST.

Independent Anthroposophical Researcher

the cross

Esoterically, I was educated with a strong fundament in Theosophy (much like Steiner). For the longest time, Ego was ‘Kama-Manas (the mind of desire)’ to me. Spirit-Self, Life-Spirit and Spirit-Man are names that still sound more foreign–in my mind–than ‘Manas, Buddhi and Atman’. I have been progressively working on myself and discovering new phacets of my personal spirituality since I was 11 or 12, but Theosophy structured everything for me.

However, this same Theosophy came and went in my life, like a shooting star. It taught me what I needed to know and then it was gone. But when I found Anthroposophy, everything changed. Spiritual Scientific Methods! Clairvoyance! Practices to gain access to the Supra-sensible Worlds! These are things that Theosophy–with its emphasis on scholasticism rather than direct and personal individual experience of the spiritual worlds–can only dream of.

Also, the freedom. Freedom from dogma, freedom from the limiting attachment to ancient eastern practices… The belief that the West also has something of value. Because to Theosophy the West has little to offer. For them, all true Wisdom originates in the East.

Also… Michael. Also, the Christ. Esoteric Christianity. The belief that the Christ is of monumental importance to the evolution of humanity and the World.

All of this is part of my essence–Anthroposophy, true Anthroposophy, resonates with every fiber of my being.

And I am devoted to Steiner. He is my Spiritual Teacher, simply put. I study him constantly, voraciously. I drink in his words. When I read him, I feel like he speaks to me at times. Like it’s a conversation in the thought-world. After spending time with Steiner, I feel stronger. More serene. Calmer, with a clearer mind. Steiner is my fortress, the same way Michael is my inspiration, and the Christ is my solace.

I trust him. I trust them all. (Legend has it that there’s a certain ‘Christian Rosenkreuz’ making the rounds out there, as well.)

But I’m not your typical Anthroposophist–unlike some, I do not close myself off from other sources of esoteric and occult knowledge. In fact, I seek these sources out. I am familiar with other Occultists–Blavatsky (the founder of Theosophy), but also Manly P. Hall, Joscelyn Godwin, Fabre D’Olivet, Jinarajadasa, Jorge Angel Livraga. I study them, too.

I am open to the East. I practice Yoga, and I can testify to its effectiveness in creating a solid mind-body-spirit connection. I study the Tarot, I’m into Astrology, I like the Pagan Gods of yore (The Savage Nordic Gods hold a special place in my heart–I have Viking blood from my mother’s side of the family). I like the Buddha, he’s pretty cool. Krishna from the Bhagavad-Gita is amazing.

I’m open to everything in the world, but Anthroposophy is the home I always come back to at the end of the day.

I’m an Independent Spiritual Anthroposophical Researcher. It’s what I do.

I want to express myself. I want to share. I want to create, I want to know.

I want to learn to love all of you the same way the Christ loves me… and I want to Trust. I am asking all of you to trust me, too.

And I will be here for all of you, too.

In lifetimes to come we will be called upon to stick together and guide others out of the dark and misery that may be approaching. Fraternity is a virtue that we must learn to cultivate now… In this life.

Namasté, people 🌙

Sports are the Modern Replacement for War

Sports are the modern replacement for war.

People’s sympathies and loyalties to a team have come to replace the loyalties that people felt in the past towards their nation; and the passion, outrage or joy that is evoked when a team wins or loses a game is the same as what people in olden times experienced when a nation won or lost a war against another nation.

Different teams have different ideologies, ways of training, histories… Teams can be endowed with cultural identities just as nations can.

However, war nowadays–modern war–is something that evokes totally different (and more complex) sentiments in people.

But sports and sporting events evoke the same type of feelings that war did in the past, when battles took place mostly man-to-man.

It’s almost like a re-enactment of past events. A Karmic re-enactment of the feelings evoked by war that people have brought over from their past lives.

One of My Talismans


One of My Talismans.

I carry this one around in my wallet.

Repeatedly saying a Prayer has the effect of making the Astral environment denser, a phenomena that lends profundity to our feeling life. Our feelings are usually superficial or dream-like; we choose to stay on the surface of things instead of going to their depths—but prayers counterbalance this.

When practiced mindfully, prayer wakes up the feeling life, specifically feelings of reverence and humility.

When you make the Astral environment denser through prayer, you are also spiritually ‘building a hut’ by surrounding yourself with the intention and essence of the prayer to such a degree that you are creating, as it were, SPACE in the Spiritual Worlds, a SPACE made up of this intention and this essence.

You are also sending out thought-forms and feeling-forms that radiate outwards from your ‘hut’ and that end up affecting the whole world.




“Thomas More, you were a

Lawyer and a statesman. Your

Honor and integrity shone

Through all you did. Through

Your example I pray that I

Apply my knowledge of the Law

In a clearheaded and

Honorable way. May I never

Compromise my integrity.”


These are the building blocks of this particular Hut.

Creating Karmic Connections Online

karmic connections

The devil is in the details.

By communicating through the Internet we are engaging with other people on an Astral level.

This creates Karma.

This creates binding karma between two individuals who would otherwise probably have never met in their lives; it creates Karma where it shouldn’t originally exist.

I have karma with my family.

I have karma with my husband and soulmate–big and complicated and enthralling karma that I greatly and deeply cherish. This karma has been in the making for lifetimes, and it will take lifetimes until our two souls finally become ONE in Spirit again, until both of our souls cross the threshold together into the divine union of a single being, having left behind everything else that is unimportant. Until the two drops in a large ocean form a single drop of water–my soul becoming his and his soul becoming mine. An Alchemical Union.

This is our karmic committment to each other, and it goes beyond time and beyond lifetimes and beyond external events and our day-to-day lives and the mistakes made by our lower selves.

And I have karma with my friends, and I have karma with every single person I meet and have had a real-world interaction with…

But my day-to-day life has nothing to do whatsoever with the day-to-day life of any of you people–yet still we are forging a connection through the Astral when we communicate and engage.

What are the real effects of communicating virtually and forging this connection?

We may have a purpose in mind; but the tool–the Internet–may have another purpose entirely.

One thing is the intention that we choose to give our actions, and another thing is the intention that the Tool itself has been designed to have.

Connecting people through the Astral who otherwise have probably little to no prior Karmic relationship…

Creating Karma based on these Astral connections. Creating Karma where it shouldn’t originally exist.

This is one of the most visible effects.

I shiver a little eveytime I think about the concept.

Because I don’t know what it means, and I don’t know what the long-term repercussions of this will be.

This internet interaction that takes place exclusively on the soul level is not prompted by external events. Precisely because it is not prompted by external events, but rather sought-out from within, new karma is created. The events were not pre-destined.

Everytime I think about it long enough, it makes me want to go for a clean break. Quit this cold turkey.

But then I don’t because there’s the Anthroposophy. And a certain perhaps misguided feeling of responsibility.


The devil is in the details.

Prayer to the Cosmic Mother


Virgin Mary
Lady Quan Yin
Goddess Isis
Divine Mothers of the World
One and the same

Envelop me in your mantle
Of compassion
And loving kindess
Succor me in my times
Of need
And in times of plenty
Teach me Grace
Through you I bear it all
With dignity.

O great Lady,
Transform me with your
And fill me with your

Mother of the Cosmos
Come to me, your daughter,
As I reach out to you
With open arms.

Pray for us sinners
My Great Lady,
Pray for us Earth-dwellers
Now and at the moment of our
Last Breath.


The Tales of Jormungandr (part 1)

A somber day it is when you realize, no, when you choose, the manner of your death. When you make a decision—this is how I am going to die.

This is how it will happen. Because it is in my control to do so… to choose the manner in which I will die.

And the strange thing is, once you choose the manner of your death…

You also choose the manner of your living.

So maybe, perhaps, it’s not that somber a day after all.


New Year’s Resolutions for 2017

Some people don’t believe in New Year’s Resolutions because people generally never keep them—but I do personally believe in the power of setting goals and in the energy of the New Year.

So in order to prepare myself for 2017, I have drafted the following New Year’s Resolutions (in no specific order of importance—they are all equally important):

  1. I want to become a better person to those people that surround me in my daily life. I’m not a bad person, but I know I could be better. I know I could be more patient, and more attentive, and kinder and less hostile (at times). I love my family and friends to death and I want to be able to give more of myself to them… the best parts of myself.
  1. I want to spend less time on Social Media. Perhaps check Facebook and Instagram (my platforms of choice) one or two times a day, tops. I want to disconnect myself a bit from the virtual world and focus more on my day-to-day duties, activities, and once again, the wonderful people that I am blessed to be surrounded with.
  1. I’m an Artist… I was born one, I always have been. Ever since I was little I have drawn, painted, made music, written poetry, written novels. Lately I have kind of pushed this to the side, and it has made me unhappy. One of the benefits of not spending that much time on Social Media will be that I will have more time to focus on my Art. I want to produce Art, I want to make Art… I want to take this part of myself, this essence of myself, seriously. It’s something I was born with, a gift from God, and it feels wrong to ignore it.
  1. I want to keep working out, doing sports, and drop about 10-15 lbs. I know I’m in shape, but in 2017 I honestly want to get in THE BEST SHAPE OF MY LIFE. Sounds shallow? Not to me. My body is my temple. I want to eat right and take care of myself so I have the energy and right disposition to take care of others.
  1. I want to keep learning the Law. I don’t think I’ll go back to School for a Master’s, at least not for now, but I want to dedicate some time each day to researching and learning the Law and honing my skills as a professional. The Law is such a vast area of study, and it demands so much from those who choose to answer its calling. I want to be up for it. I want to fulfill my Purpose as a Lawyer—the profession I chose.

Basically, this is it! These are my New Year’s Resolutions. I am making them public to hold myself accountable. Once something is made public, I am answerable to it, which is what I want.

Wishing everyone a Happy 2017! See you all next year 😉